Another great weekend, coupled with some good news!

Well the fun 'girls night in' has now come and gone! It was a blast. You know that laughter that can rock you to your soul, when your insides hurt and tears stream down your cheeks??? Well that was definitel happening. Thank you ladies for a great time and all the wonderful gifts!
So referrals are out and it is with mixed feelings that I share the update. To understand my excitement, you first need to know that throughout this month - after the disappointing two day batch last month, the rumour sites have predicted a one or two day batch this month. And if that had kept up then we would be looking at travelling in the Fall after Brian is back in school. They have done the referrals up to and including November 1st. So though we are not in this batch - a sad realization I came to a couple weeks ago, we are definitely in the next time. They average 32 days per between batches so sometime around May 31st we should see Alex's sweet face!!!! Woohoo!
Now I can plan. Now I can figure out approximately when we will travel. Now I am pumped!
Loving the world and all who are in today!

A Special Weekend

Well this weekend I had my first shower. Lori and Mom did a great job putting it together and it was wonderful seeing some faces that I have not seen for a very long time! Some since my wedding shower which was almost 10 years to the date! Thank you everyone that attended and especially to Mom and Lori for all their hardwork. My little princess will certainly be blessed!

So no news yet, as expected. We are hoping to hear something - either that we are included or not before May 1st or after May 3rd (how's that for concrete timing). The Chinese government has another holiday! I will certainly share the news here after my colleagues have heard the scream or sighs!

Take care.

Update

Hi,
Hot off the presses! Only two days of referrals this month! They have been sending about 2 weeks worth of referrals, but this month they just didn't. So this means that our logged in date is only 8 days away from what has been referred (November 3,2005). Below is the official wording from the Chinese website.

The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before October 26, 2005.

So now we need to wait about 28 days to see if we are in the next batch. Best case scenario is the next batch.
Have a great week!

No News Can be Good News

Happy Easter to All!
So we had hoped that we would have heard whether we are in this next batch of referrals or not and well, nothing. Our agency is closed now for the weekend, including Monday, so the earliest we may hear something is Tuesday. Not sure that we will then either.
So why is no news good news? Well if we look at timing....the best time to go and get Alex is in July.

• We will have already moved. Alex will not have to be going through yet another change.
• Brian will be on summer vacation - would not lose pay for his leave.
• My big a_ _ project begins pilot in July. Everything, everything needs to be done by then.
• There are some wonderful family birthdays (60 yrs & 70 yrs) and a wedding to be celebrated in June.

Even with all those reasons, we would jump on a plane tomorrow if they said that she was ready.

So travel normally occurs 8 weeks after referral so....

April referrals - travel around beginning of June

May referrals (28 to 38 days after April referrals) - travel in July

June referrals - travel in August

Disclaimer: All above information can change at any time without warning.

The rumour sites are now saying that we most likely will not be in April, probably in May and worst case June.

So rumour shmoomer. Here is what I do know. The timing of Alex will be perfect. I cannot go a day earlier or later then He has planned. Every little detail has been looked after for me and for that I give Him all the glory and honour.

A fitting start to one of the most important weekends in the Christian faith.

Sarita

In Lieu of nothing new

So we are anxiously waiting news but I got nothing! Hopefully this week we can either share pics or being confidant that we are in the next batch. Just going to have to wait and see. I have included a good read from our Adoption Agency. Hope you read further as it is interested.



Cross-Cultural Adoption: The Do's and Don'ts for Grown-Ups

By Amy Coughlin and Caryn Abramowitz authors of Cross-Cultural Adoption: How to Answer Questions from Family, Friends, and Community

Do's

1. Do treat her like any other kid. It may be difficult and take a while for adopted children to feel like they belong within their extended families. Treating these children like they're "nothing special" can go a long way toward making them feel at home and comfortable within the group.
2. Avoid the temptation to spoil her because she didn't have everything that the other kids had in the first few months or years of her life. The most valuable gifts you can offer these children are patience, routine, and consistency -- and most of all, unexaggerated expressions of love and devotion.
3. Do support her when curious strangers ask questions. When curious (and sometimes thoughtless) strangers ask questions or feel the need to comment on the circumstances of the adoption, do not let them lead you into uncomfortable territory. Instead, gently steer them back to more suitable small talk or respond in such a way that shifts the conversation to positive adoption language that in turn lets the child know that you are on her side.
4. Do respect her privacy. Adopted children have the same need for and the right to privacy as you do. They do not want their entire life story being told to strangers. If she hears you discussing the intimate details of her origins, she will likely feel embarrassed. Until the child is old enough to decide for herself how much information she would like to share regarding her background, please respect her privacy.
5. Do treat prospective adoptive parents the same as expectant parents. Adopting a child is just as exciting for soon-to-be parents as being pregnant. They feel the same way all expectant parents do -- overjoyed, overwhelmed, nervous, impatient, and most of all, excited. Don't be afraid to ask adopting parents about these feelings. After all, adoption is neither a secret nor a source of embarrassment or shame.
6. Do acknowledge and celebrate the differences. One of the best things you can do to show your support as well as your love for the adopted child in your life is to learn a bit about the culture and history of her birth country. Read a couple of books, especially travel books. Even if you have no plans to travel there, there is no better way to get the feeling of another country.

Don'ts

1. Don't introduce her as adopted. The pain this inflicts on the child is obvious. The child is made to feel inferior, like she will never be considered a real part of the family. The rule is simple: Don't ever, ever do this.
2. Don't say how "lucky" she is. After hearing this enough times, the child can be made to feel like a lifelong charity case, rather than the cherished child she is. Yes, she is lucky, but so is any child who has a supportive, loving family. And we parents are lucky, too, to have been able to create this loving, supportive family.
3. Don't assume adoption is a second choice. The reasons people choose to adopt are as varied and unique as the people themselves. While it is true that many choose adoption because of infertility, it is also true that many choose adoption for a myriad of other reasons as well. Many people choose to adopt not because they are out of other options, but rather because they believe that adoption is the best choice for them.
4. Don't jump to conclusions about the birth mother. Often thought of as weak, irresponsible, cheap, and worthless, birth mothers often suffer a lifetime of pain far greater than that of childbirth. Please don't jump to the wrong conclusion that these women are any different than you and me or that they love their children any less.Most cross-cultural adoptive families know little or nothing about the circumstances that led their child's birth mother to relinquish her child. What they do know is that they love their children's birth mothers because they are a part of their children and it is because of them that their beloved children are who they are.
5. Don't tell us we're sure to have "our own" now. She is our own. Those parents who choose adoption because of infertility do not secretly harbor lifelong yearnings for a biological child. Having "our own" is now irrelevant; the child we have is the one we want and it is inconceivable that we could love or want any child more. Like all parents, we have the best.